Fine Young Cannibals are playing over the title sequence and I can already tell this is going to be another sexy episode. Cut to shots of sexy girls in swimwear around a pool. This is the ‘Bachelor’s World’ mansion, kinda like the Playboy Mansion but sexier. Too sexy.
The face of Bachelor’s World is Sean Brantley but the brains behind the operation is Dian Hunter. Sean is having too many affairs with nymphs so Dian is going to sell her shares to Sir Harry Matthews. She leaves for London but then goes missing. Columbo comes in at 15 minutes and 16 seconds. He thinks Sean has killed Dian. After searching and harassing and messing about Dian turns up. It’s all been some scheme hatched up by the two of them for publicity. But then he goes and breaks her neck anyway and Columbo catches him.
The columboid is a gold beeper, flashing the word GOTCHA.
This isn’t my favourite episode. Columbo shouldn’t be so sexy.
We learn nothing about Columbo in this episode.
During this episode I ate a gourmet yogurt. I am not a sexy person.
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Season 9, Episode 1- Murder: A Self Portrait
The opening of this episode grabs the public and gives them what they want, i.e. loads of shots of basset hounds. It’s some kind of competition. There are costumes and howling and Columbo comes along at 1 minutes and 32 seconds. All this is then kind of forgotten about for a bit.
There’s an artist called Max Barsini. He has two wives and a girlfriend and they all live together. Maybe this will all be fine and work out really well… Oh, his first wife is going to leave him. This does not please him so he kills her. He pretends he’s painting a picture but all the while he’s killing her.
Columbo comes back and flatters Barsini until he arrests him for murder.
The columboid is ‘Barsini red’ paint and brush cleaner and Freudian interpretations of dreams.
Things we learn about Columbo: his uncle was a medical doctor.
During this episode I packed for a Swedish adventure.
There’s an artist called Max Barsini. He has two wives and a girlfriend and they all live together. Maybe this will all be fine and work out really well… Oh, his first wife is going to leave him. This does not please him so he kills her. He pretends he’s painting a picture but all the while he’s killing her.
Columbo comes back and flatters Barsini until he arrests him for murder.
The columboid is ‘Barsini red’ paint and brush cleaner and Freudian interpretations of dreams.
Things we learn about Columbo: his uncle was a medical doctor.
During this episode I packed for a Swedish adventure.
Season 8, Episode 4- Grand Deceptions
Colonel Frank Brealey is running a kind of military academy, that’s not really a military academy, it’s something else. Good old General Pagett is the money behind the academy, little does he know that Frank is doing some unspecified illegal stuff using the ‘Special Projects’ file. Frank is also sleeping with the General’s lovely young wife. And by sleeping with I mean sexing with. A guy called Lester knows all this and he’s going to rat him out. So whilst Frank is setting up a bunch of toy soldiers for the General’s birthday he sneaks out blows Lester up.
Columbo shows up at 22 minutes and 2 seconds and he knows the score. There are some shenanigans with the special projects file and a fake special projects file before Frank is inevitably caught.
The Columboid is the books won’t fit in the box!
Things we learn about Columbo: His car is a collector’s item and his nephew is a civil war re-enactor.
I really wanted a puppy during this episode. Really.
Columbo shows up at 22 minutes and 2 seconds and he knows the score. There are some shenanigans with the special projects file and a fake special projects file before Frank is inevitably caught.
The Columboid is the books won’t fit in the box!
Things we learn about Columbo: His car is a collector’s item and his nephew is a civil war re-enactor.
I really wanted a puppy during this episode. Really.
Season 8, Episode 3- Sex and the Married Detective
Dr Joan Allenby is a sex advice DJ/ author/ sex doctor. Her boyfriend is suspicious. She has to go on a trip to promote something but what’s this? Her flight is cancelled. Inconvenient but hey she can just go round to her boyfriend’s and snuggle, right? WRONG. He’s having a real good sexy time in bed with her secretary. So she sneaks out without them seeing and goes on her trip via some other means. When she gets back she goes to a fundraiser dressed like a normal lady from the 80s, then goes to the bathroom and changes to look like some kind of sexy prostitute. She creeps out, meets the man for a date, takes him to the ‘sex room’ in her office and kills him.
Columbo shows up at 22 minutes and 39 seconds, he smokes in a lift with a ‘No Smoking’ sign, oh Columbo! This is perhaps the most saucy episode I’ve ever seen. Not sure I like it.
The columboid is a lady police officer dressing up as the sexy prostitute.
In this episode we learn that Columbo can play the tuba and that his wife is anxious for him to read the sexual fantasies chapter of Dr Allenby’s book.
During this episode I painted my nails the colour of unpainted nails.
Columbo shows up at 22 minutes and 39 seconds, he smokes in a lift with a ‘No Smoking’ sign, oh Columbo! This is perhaps the most saucy episode I’ve ever seen. Not sure I like it.
The columboid is a lady police officer dressing up as the sexy prostitute.
In this episode we learn that Columbo can play the tuba and that his wife is anxious for him to read the sexual fantasies chapter of Dr Allenby’s book.
During this episode I painted my nails the colour of unpainted nails.
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Season 8, Episode 2- Murder, Smoke and Shadows
Alex Brady is some kind of film director wunderkind. His old friend Lenny comes to visit him but Lenny doesn’t seem happy. It seems he’s found some old footage of Alex killing his sister Jenny is an horrific accident. Lenny isn’t too pleased about Alex killing his sister and lying about it for years. Alex doesn’t want the truth to come out so he electrocutes Lenny.
Columbo comes along at 21 minutes and 25 seconds and is playing with a train set. He doesn’t leave Alex alone. Alex appears to be genuinely mentally ill.
The columboid is a mass of circumstantial evidence.
Things we learn about Columbo: he’s scared of heights, he likes ice cream sodas and his mother would chop off his hands if he turned down the pages of a book.
During this episode I wore egg yolk yellow socks and a matching cardigan.
Columbo comes along at 21 minutes and 25 seconds and is playing with a train set. He doesn’t leave Alex alone. Alex appears to be genuinely mentally ill.
The columboid is a mass of circumstantial evidence.
Things we learn about Columbo: he’s scared of heights, he likes ice cream sodas and his mother would chop off his hands if he turned down the pages of a book.
During this episode I wore egg yolk yellow socks and a matching cardigan.
Season 8, Episode 1- Columbo Goes to the Guillotine
Elliot Blake is a doctor is para-psychology, a bit like Peter Venkman but not as funny or good looking. Along with a luscious haired lady called Paula he runs a psychic institute, which is basically just a load of old nonsense. The CIA are going to fund the institute if they can prove for sure Elliot is not a con man. They get in top exposer of psychics Max the Magnificent to test him. However Max and Elliot know each other, they were in a Ugandan prison together and Max taught Elliot loads of fake psychic tricks. Elliot is also pretty sure that Max sold him out for his own freedom. The solution? Chop off his head with a magic guillotine.
Columbo shows up at 24 minutes and 34 seconds. He enlists Elliot’s help to solve the case, all the time knowing that Elliot is the murderer. Classic Columbo move.
The columboid is Columbo almost getting his head chopped off.
This is the first of the 1980s episodes and Columbo now wears glasses, he is still allowed to smoke cigars at crime scenes. He also carries an egg in his pocket and wears a wizards hat.
During this episode we find out that Columbo’s wife buys psychic magazines.
I was encouraged to watch this episode by @thefeudalsystem
Columbo shows up at 24 minutes and 34 seconds. He enlists Elliot’s help to solve the case, all the time knowing that Elliot is the murderer. Classic Columbo move.
The columboid is Columbo almost getting his head chopped off.
This is the first of the 1980s episodes and Columbo now wears glasses, he is still allowed to smoke cigars at crime scenes. He also carries an egg in his pocket and wears a wizards hat.
During this episode we find out that Columbo’s wife buys psychic magazines.
I was encouraged to watch this episode by @thefeudalsystem
Season 7, Episode 4- Make me a perfect murder
Unusually we hear Columbo immediately and then see him soon afterwards at 0 minutes and 19 seconds, record? I think so. He’s involved in a minor car accident, hurts his neck and has to wear a neck brace. On to the dirty murder business…. Kay Freestone is an executive assistant at a top TV network. She’s having an affair with Mark and when he’s promoted she expects to fill his place but he just gives her a new car and dumps her. Before he can take up his new position she sneaks out of a projection booth and shoots him.
Columbo comes back onto the scene and has an electrifying sexual chemistry with Kay. She tells him he’s attractive without his neck brace. It’s all very sexy. Despite a certain amount of sympathy on Columbo’s part and all the sexiness he still has to catch her and he does so with an excellent projection columboid.
Things we learn about Columbo: as a youngster he liked to put on his father’s glasses to feel grown up, he used to build model aeroplanes as a kid, his 15 year old nephew makes 8mm movies, his brother in law has a back problem and he doesn’t watch TV because he has to work nights.
During this episode I experienced a mild sense of panic.
Columbo comes back onto the scene and has an electrifying sexual chemistry with Kay. She tells him he’s attractive without his neck brace. It’s all very sexy. Despite a certain amount of sympathy on Columbo’s part and all the sexiness he still has to catch her and he does so with an excellent projection columboid.
Things we learn about Columbo: as a youngster he liked to put on his father’s glasses to feel grown up, he used to build model aeroplanes as a kid, his 15 year old nephew makes 8mm movies, his brother in law has a back problem and he doesn’t watch TV because he has to work nights.
During this episode I experienced a mild sense of panic.
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