Monday, 13 May 2013

Season 9, Episode 6- Murder in Malibu

Wayne is a young stud on the scene, sleeping with rich older women. He claims to have fallen for lady novelist Teresa. Her sister Jess is some kind of agent and likes to meddle in Teresa’s business. Teresa announces on TV that she will marry Wayne but later that night she calls to say she hates him and the wedding is off. Mixed messages lady. He drives over and shoots her.
Columbo shows up at 18 minutes and 19 seconds and he cracks the case wide open. Turns out that when Wayne shot her she was already dead. Her jealous sister did the actual killing.
The columboid is knickers. Actual knickers, on the wrong way round.
Things we learn about Columbo: he has a brother who is one year and 7 months younger than him, he has an older brother and can impersonate his voice.
During this episode I re-arranged my books. I have 521 of them. It made me sweat.

Season 9, Episode 5- Uneasy Lies the Crown

Wesley is a dentist working for his father in law. He’s terrible at both dentistry and son in lawing. His meal ticket wife Lydia wants to divorce him so he puts some of her heart medication in her lover’s filling. This lover happens to be a big movie star called Adam Evans. Adam goes to see Lydia and to do some loving, Wesley knows what's going on. After the magaritas and the love Adam drops dead. Lydia is pretty distraught. Wesley comes back, covers it all up and makes it look like a car accident but plants enough evidence to suggest she might have done it.
Columbo comes along at 24 minutes and 7 seconds. He has to explain how he is a police lieutenant. He fakes tooth problems, digs out an old chemistry set, does general shuffling about and annoys people.
The columboid is fake chemistry.
Things we learn about Columbo: he’s never had a chance to use his siren, his coat doesn’t have a lining, he takes a touch of cream in his coffee, he had a tee total cousin that got hit by a bakery truck and he’s been on the force for 22 years.
During this episode I ate chocolate and guiness cake. Because I’m a decadent son of a gun.

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Season 9, Episode 4- Rest in Peace Mrs Columbo

There’s a funeral and a voice over. Columbo shows up at a mere 32 seconds. What the heck is going on here then? I’ll tell you what, it’s Mrs Columbo’s funeral. WHAT?
Cut to flashback. Vivienne Dimitri is an estate agent in a sports car. She’s having an affair with Lovejoy, except he’s not a loveable antiques dealer here. He’s something else. So, it turns out Vivienne’s husband was some top financial guy, who stole a client’s money, killed the client, went to prison then died of a heart attack. She blames her boss for this so she kills him. With a gun. Then goes on a date with Lovejoy. They do sex in an anonymous room with the lights off.
It turns out she also blames Columbo for her husband’s imprisonment and death. As he investigates the murder she gives him jars of marmalade to slowly poison his wife. He tells her she’s died of a heart attack but it’s all a lie. He knew all along that she was a crazy killer and Mrs Columbo is alive and kicking! Huzzah! The columboid is once again basically entrapment.
Things we learn about Columbo: he’s been married 28 or 29 years next January, he never bets, his wife likes marmalade but her prefers a smooth jam, he likes Gary Cooper, Louis Armstrong and Mark Twain, his wife plays the piano but not well, he never had children but looked after his sister Ruth’s kid’s, he walks the dog 5 times a day and he doesn’t have a dentist. That’s a lot of stuff.
I feel as if someone wanted this to the Citizen Kane of Columbos. But it's better than that because it's not boring and it's in colour.
During this episode I ate Chinese food and drank fizzy pop.

Season 9, Episode 3- Agenda for Murder

Patrick McGoohan is back! He’s Oscar Finch, a top attorney with a shady past. But he’s trying to put all that behind him and become just some honest lawyer guy who’s helping his Governor mate, Paul Mackey. Mackey is running for president and he wants Finch to be his vice. But now the skeletons are flying out of the closet and Frank Staplin comes along to blackmail him about all the horrible illegal stuff he used to do. Oscar shoots him and makes it look like suicide.
Columbo turns up at 20 minutes and 14 seconds and is confused by a fax machine (who isn’t!?). He also eats some crime scene cheese, yum Columbo, yum.
This is a great episode that harks back to the classics of the 70s. No sex or technology. The columboid? Bite marks in that cheese!
During this episode we learn that Columbo’s father loved Parmigiano Reggiano cheese.
I badly wrapped gifts for loved ones whilst watching this episode.