Sunday, 9 October 2011

Season 5, Episode 2- A Case of Immunity

Before reading this understand I was very confused during this episode and a lot of it didn’t make sense to me. Anyway it starts with some foreigners burning some documents and planting a bomb in the office of an embassy of a Middle Eastern nation that may or may not be called Sauri. They then call in a security chief and kill him. The ringleader of this little plot is Salah, he’s tricked Habib into helping him by lying about things.
Columbo shows up at 7 minutes and 5 seconds to investigate the murder. It seems like some kind of political intrigue, is it? Your guess is as good as mine. Salah kills Habib and makes him look like a traitor. Columbo senses that something is wrong because Habib is wearing contact lenses and spectacles and that just seems mental.
Later on Salah watches the king get on a plane. Then he goes back to the embassy and goads Columbo. Columbo admits defeat and Salah admits the murders, mocking Columbo because he’s got diplomatic immunity. But ah, the king is actually waiting outside and is going to take him back to Sauri for some Saurian justice. He decides he’d rather take LA justice and offers to confess. Columbo already has a confession ready for him to sign in his pocket. Pretty excellent columboid.
Things we learn about Columbo: his brother in law is a waiter.
During this episode I contemplated my broken heart.

Season 5, Episode 1- Forgotten Lady

Janet Leigh is a mad old has-been star of musicals called Grace. Even though she is old she’s attempting to resurrect her career by starring in a Broadway show. She wants her husband Henry to finance the whole venture but he refuses. She gives him an extra sleeping pill then goes off to watch one of her own films in her private cinema. Half way through she whips off her big white mu-mu, gets a gun, creeps upstairs, shoots Henry, locks the door, climbs out of the window and goes back to watching the film.
Columbo shows up at 22 minutes and 27 seconds and looks very sleepy. It’s 1:30am and Columbo exclaims “Lucky I didn’t show up in my pyjamas” Hahahahahahahahaha, oh Columbo! He forgotten his notebook and pen and has to borrow one from the butler. Henry has had a cadaveric spasm which makes everyone think it’s suicide but Columbo knows better.
The Columboid: she was watching a 105 minute film for 120 minutes.
This episode is kinda crappy because it turns out Janet Leigh has some kind of brain tumour and doesn’t even know she’s killed her husband. She has mere weeks to live so some guy called Ned takes the blame. It’s saved by the scene in which Columbo feeds his dog ice cream. Classic.
We learn that Columbo likes gangster films but his wife forces him to see musicals, he doesn’t function well at night, the sight of blood makes him sick, he doesn’t carry a gun and hasn’t been to the pistol range for 5 years.
I washed my space shuttle duvet cover and pillow case during this episode.

Season 4, Episode 6- A Deadly State of Mind

George Hamilton is Marcus Collier, a weird manipulative ‘doctor’ that drugs and hypnotises woman in order to cure their mental illness. He’s quite ethically having an affair with one of these women. Her name is Nadja. A sexy blonde doctor knows Collier is using drugs he shouldn’t be. He’s also trying to persuade her to fake some lab results so he can publish a book. So far things aren’t great but they just get worse when Nadja’s husband finds out about the affair and gleefully beats her. Collier hits him with a poker and then they invent a cockamamie story about robbers breaking in and killing him. He finally catches a break as the only witness is a blind man.
We hear Columbo’s voice at 14 minutes and 44 seconds and then we see his back at 14 minutes and 46 seconds. He doesn’t believe Collier and Nadja’s story and goes about dismantling Nadja’s fragile mental health in order to get them to confess. Frightened that she’s going to blab Collier hypnotises her into jumping out of a window.
The columboid: he uses the blind man’s brother to trick him.
Things we learn about Columbo: his car is French and has thin tyres, he takes his coffee black, he couldn’t afford a beach house and he likes cream soda.
I drank hot chocolate during this episode.

Season 4, Episode 5- Playback

Harold Van Wick kills his mother in law Margaret because he is running her electronics business into the ground with his love of gadgetry and she wants him to stop. What a bitch. He has a wheelchair bound wife and a moron of a brother in law and assumes he’ll get away with it. He shoots her, films it, sets up the film to play for a security guard later and then goes to an art show. He is a man that believes he can establish an alibi by ostentatiously asking for the time.
We see Columbo’s car at 17 minutes and 42 seconds and Columbo in the flesh at 17 minutes and 57 seconds. Columbo looks at some art and his dog barks at Harold.
The Columboid: on the video Harold’s art show invitation is on the table.
Things we learn about Columbo: his dog chases the neighbour’s cat, his wife does paint by numbers and he hates guns.
During this episode I spilled tea on myself.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Season 4, Episode 4- Troubled Waters

Columbo makes an early appearance at only 42 seconds as he boards a cruise ship. He’s looking for the ever elusive Mrs Columbo. He asks a sea-faring fellow if he’s seen her- she has black hair in a bun and is the same height as him. He hasn’t seen her.
Also aboard are Robert Vaughan and his shrewish wife and Dean Stockwell who is anxious to see a sexy lady named Rosanna. Turns out Rosanna doesn’t want to see Dean, she’s having an affair with Robert Vaughan and is now blackmailing him. He has to get rid of her before the rich shrew finds out! So he fakes a heart attack and is taken to the ship’s hospital. Rosanna is a singer on board the ship. She has awful clothes, an awful voice and an awful face. Pretty sure she smells awful too, probably a mix of talcum powder and fish. During her break from singing terribly Robert Vaughan sneaks out of the hospital and shoots her. He also does a little Dean Stockwell frame up job.
Obviously Columbo is called in to investigate. He is very sweaty in this episode, probably distressed about not being able to find his wife and annoyed that his holiday has been ruined by another posho murdering someone.
The columboid: he uses powder to prove Vaughan’s finger prints are on the inside of the surgical gloves!
Things we learn about Columbo: his brother in law has an auto repair shop in the valley, he hasn’t been on a boat before, he gets sea sick.
I felt very sleepy during this episode.